Sorted Solitary Saunterings

So, as a magical practitioner, the only thing that matters here is what you think. What you know.

Simple enough, but very vague. I was just thinking. Here I am, chillin’...alone with whatever I do. Occasionally joining people for circle or festivals, but hardly ever explaining what I do to its fullest degree. Heck, I doubt that is possible. It’s like trying to describe the intimacy of a lovers embrace or the complexity of intangible algorithms. Most people don’t look at me as anything more than just a young woman with a bright face. Yes, my face is bright. I often get mistaken for a teenager…as I’m sure I wouldn’t mind when I hit 40. Getting carded will seem a great deal less a nuisance and more of a flattery. But, I digress. Basically, I put on a face of youth and smiles, because it’s easier that way. A lot of practitioners are themselves introverts, and by being so extroverted I can keep them away from me. How can you get a good response from someone being themselves genuine if you aren't being so yourself?

I used to think I wanted to be with others when it came down to practicing magic. Circles or covens. It started out that way. Only a few of us fumbling along. Now, I feel much more attune to my own inner workings as just me, myself, and I. Why is that? Why does someone choose a solitary existence when they are in fact very social in their nature? Perhaps that is one of the only sacred pieces of their life they have left. Something untouched by others. Something with power and purity. But as I get older, I find myself not wanting to reach out to others. I don’t need them. So, is that a sad thing? A selfish thing? *shrug* I’m not sure. I do know that despite my love of learning new things, I can get set in my ways. I have to make myself talk to new people. Network. Risky, I know, but important.


Here’s what I think, what I know. It’s up to me to allow others inside. Doesn’t hurt to take a chance in meeting others and maybe learn a thing or two. At least you won’t get stagnant, and that’s worst of all. A gangrenous spirit is an unhappy spirit. Still…I’m not sure if I’m ready to open up my sacred self to anyone. It’s not my way. I wouldn’t mind, however, a few people to chit-chat with. I don’t think I’d mind that at all.