Among dog toys, dirty dishes, unmade beds and the squeaking of a hedgehog... I found my center. Yes yes, I cleaned up the dishes....basically. I made the bed and corralled the toys. Then, I went to the gym. I have come to the point where I need to better my body as well as my spirit. It's all energy right? I've been taking long walks with the dog the past week and broke my record time on the elliptical. I've actually been having mindful exercise and healthy activity. So... why did I start thinking this way? I mean... I've had similar thoughts before about being active. But, why now?
One night as I was going to sleep, I started... well having a discussion with myself. The shadow self, the unknown threw some things in my face that I needed to deal with. Well, one thing. I'm fat. Obese. Yes, I think I'm beautiful. Yes I think I'm sexy. But no, I do not treat my body the way it deserves. I weigh 225lbs and am 5'4". I have all of the ingredients to get myself to the health level I know I should be... I'm just lazy. I'd rather be on the computer than taking walks. I'd rather be watching t.v. than playing sports. I've been ignoring a problem in my life for a long time.
Enough of that... lets discuss the need to be healthy as a Pagan, heck as a witch. As a Pagan, I view nature as sacred. The neutral awe-inspiring beauty and savage terror associated with all that is. Nature, with its small shows of compassion paralleled with the cravings of survival... if I were to go out into the woods...and survive... I'd have it much more difficult than someone who weighed 100lbs less than me. When a predator is chasing you, you only have to outrun the slowest person... and... that would be me. >_< Anywho, I'm not presenting myself as sacred to the divine. The body is the expression of the strands and particles that form out of an amazing pattern of my ancestors... DNA... water, carbon and trace elements + spark = me. So, why do I want to kill myself early? I'd rather be here celebrating life and doing my work. And as a witch, well... anyone who understand energy mechanics will know that someone who is out of shape will not let flow energy as well as someone (with the same skill level) who is in shape. It'll make me a better witch. A better Pagan. A better woman.
So, this is all the same stuff you've probably heard before. On shows like "The Biggest Loser" and the infomercials of "Jenny Craig." People saying "I hate getting clothes just so that they'd fit me... I hate that I can't go on rides with my child because of my weight..." All of this I've heard before. I've felt similarly before. It's like someone who smokes cigarettes and wants to quit... you gotta keep trying or you'll never succeed. I know that my local Pagan community, just like the rest of the U.S. is fighting this. Does anyone know of a Pagan weight-loss/health groups so that people could check in and share online or heck offline? I've looked and couldn't find one...course I didn't look to hard. I've been off my tuchus lately and not in front of the pc as much. Which is good... I'm just thankful and excited about the fact that I'm going to look exactly like I look when I dream, instead of the woman who ate her.
Blessings,
Greymentality
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