The most ordinary of days belong to beauty. The semi-warm summer days. The partly cloudy skies. Doing errands. looking outside and hearing the same birds chirping or cawing. It's ordinary.
Ordinary things bump into ordinary things and depending on how the light hits them, we can see how amazing existence really is. We ignore it so often that life is dull. Our silver infused days become lackluster and just a piece of the junk we deal with, not the craft we weave and hammer and dance into being. I love my ordinary day. I love the way the blinds make the light flicker on the curtains.
Such a small little thought can change so much the way of the world. Simplicity, like a mountain stream, carves more deeply than shallow handholds of scoffing words. For this, I am thankful.
Blessings,
Grey
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Cut the ties that bind
Steady schedule online time: Get online. Turn on Yahoo messenger. Click Firefox. Type in 'www.' and scroll down one to Facebook. Click on Facebook. Click on inbox. Click another empty tab. Click on yahoo and check e-mail. Click on Facebook tab. Click on home. Scroll, respond, scroll, respond, scroll 'like', scroll respond. Click on Profile. Click on updates to catch those I may have missed. Click on events. Click 'maybe'. Click on PEER group. Find interesting links to post. Update PEER status message. Update personal status message. Research. Add link. Someone pops on fb chat. Talk. Curse fb chat. Switch to Yahoo messenger. Click click click...
When did I become a fb junkie? I stopped doing Farmville and Restaurant City a long time ago. The only ap. I touch is tetris... and... well it's just tetris. Even in the middle of the night, there's better things to do. When did I stop writing? When did I stop doing what I want to do? I felt a compulsion (yes, I have a bit of undiagnosed OCD tendencies). I have to be on top of everything. Be aware... Control freak? *nods and raises her hand* Facebook is a great way to be connected. Connect to your friends. Connect to your events. Instant gratification via the internet. *coughs* Well... you know what I mean.
It's good to give yourself a vacation. From work. Sure. From people. Yup. From Facebook. *nods* Sometimes your energy can be placed somewhere... less-than-premium. You can't always go to the beach and get away, but you can say "I'm going to take back two hours of my schedule today and do something different with it." Re-investing my time with something else. 14 hours/week of walks, play, joy, coffee dates, writing and maybe... just maybe meditation. Nah, I'm not going to stay offline, or even away from Facebook forever. I just need a break. And some reflection.
Analyze your whole self and you can see what you cannot while existing as a reactionary person. I can see this problem in other people... and told them many times "take care of yourself first." I need my own medicine and damn it... I'm taking it. What spurred this thought was a strange thing actually. Having nothing to do with fb. Someone accused me of not showing discretion concerning a magically oriented group. I realized my reaction was intense. Who me? I am the pillar of tact! Moreso, she reminded me that the group was a men's only group and no women were allowed so I needed to mind my own business and really you should have known and I'm telling you this because other people think the same way and by the way love and light. (mind you I've been attending their open meetings for the past 10 months regularly) She's making a mountain out of a mole hill... and selling shit with a touch of sugar at the end. *chuckles* It made me laugh at first. Then maybe it was the hormones, maybe it was because I just finished a four hour reading for someone... but I reacted strongly. I got very angry. I don't get angry like that. So, anything that helps me reflect on who I am and how I react and my motivations helps me. I don't like it, but I'm glad that this happened.
Even though I don't care what a lot of people think, I care what my friends think. Especially if I do something that offends them. I want to be aware of what they think and how they feel... so when I was challenged for crossing a line by being involved in a men's spirituality group... I suddenly worried. I worried I was not being respectful. That I had broken the integrity of my honor system. That somehow I missed it.
That's what bothered me the most. That I missed it... I missed the imaginary tactful tap tap taps that someone sends out saying I'm going too far. That I'm infringing on them. That I was being disrespectful. That is what got me angry. And that was a sign I needed to step back from the situation.
And so I did. I'm going to use all of the energy that I would in responding to her, all of the energy I have placed in fb and turning it inward. I'm going to pamper my Self. And yes, I did miss it. I missed the fact that I care too much about stuff that doesn't really matter. I must let go... and enjoy the ride.
Blessings,
Greymentality
When did I become a fb junkie? I stopped doing Farmville and Restaurant City a long time ago. The only ap. I touch is tetris... and... well it's just tetris. Even in the middle of the night, there's better things to do. When did I stop writing? When did I stop doing what I want to do? I felt a compulsion (yes, I have a bit of undiagnosed OCD tendencies). I have to be on top of everything. Be aware... Control freak? *nods and raises her hand* Facebook is a great way to be connected. Connect to your friends. Connect to your events. Instant gratification via the internet. *coughs* Well... you know what I mean.
It's good to give yourself a vacation. From work. Sure. From people. Yup. From Facebook. *nods* Sometimes your energy can be placed somewhere... less-than-premium. You can't always go to the beach and get away, but you can say "I'm going to take back two hours of my schedule today and do something different with it." Re-investing my time with something else. 14 hours/week of walks, play, joy, coffee dates, writing and maybe... just maybe meditation. Nah, I'm not going to stay offline, or even away from Facebook forever. I just need a break. And some reflection.
Analyze your whole self and you can see what you cannot while existing as a reactionary person. I can see this problem in other people... and told them many times "take care of yourself first." I need my own medicine and damn it... I'm taking it. What spurred this thought was a strange thing actually. Having nothing to do with fb. Someone accused me of not showing discretion concerning a magically oriented group. I realized my reaction was intense. Who me? I am the pillar of tact! Moreso, she reminded me that the group was a men's only group and no women were allowed so I needed to mind my own business and really you should have known and I'm telling you this because other people think the same way and by the way love and light. (mind you I've been attending their open meetings for the past 10 months regularly) She's making a mountain out of a mole hill... and selling shit with a touch of sugar at the end. *chuckles* It made me laugh at first. Then maybe it was the hormones, maybe it was because I just finished a four hour reading for someone... but I reacted strongly. I got very angry. I don't get angry like that. So, anything that helps me reflect on who I am and how I react and my motivations helps me. I don't like it, but I'm glad that this happened.
Even though I don't care what a lot of people think, I care what my friends think. Especially if I do something that offends them. I want to be aware of what they think and how they feel... so when I was challenged for crossing a line by being involved in a men's spirituality group... I suddenly worried. I worried I was not being respectful. That I had broken the integrity of my honor system. That somehow I missed it.
That's what bothered me the most. That I missed it... I missed the imaginary tactful tap tap taps that someone sends out saying I'm going too far. That I'm infringing on them. That I was being disrespectful. That is what got me angry. And that was a sign I needed to step back from the situation.
And so I did. I'm going to use all of the energy that I would in responding to her, all of the energy I have placed in fb and turning it inward. I'm going to pamper my Self. And yes, I did miss it. I missed the fact that I care too much about stuff that doesn't really matter. I must let go... and enjoy the ride.
Blessings,
Greymentality
Monday, July 19, 2010
What's in a title?
Well, I've had a discussion with my mother not too long ago. I realized it was time for me to use her preconceived notions and thoughts on the word Witch to my benefit. I decided to dethrone that term in my house with my mother. Since her definition will always include a nauseated ick feeling, I am reclaiming my 'title' as energy practitioner. Yes, I know. Titles are only as important as you make them. Yet if using them with others, they can be quite powerful.
About seven years ago I told my mother I could see 'auras.' About six years ago I told her I could see 'spirits/ghosts.' About five years ago I told her I could see the future. And then, I told her I was a Witch. Crash, boom, bam, collapse! My gentle crafting of understanding... or at least setting a stage to understanding... crashed under the weight of that word. I defined it. I explained it. And, yet... who'd a thunk that someone's thought process could crush my long balanced plan? Oh yes... something about the power of thought... and belief... Anyway... Before my mother wanted me to be a 'psychic.' It's so much easier to understand and even easier to explain to your family friends. However the term psychic seems to denotes that it is just innate abilities and gifts instead of hard work and practice. So, I threw that out the window as I didn't like the way it felt on my person. So, I chose a little over 11 years ago the term Witch. It was somewhat vague. Had a good connotation in my mind. It meant a person who practices magic and spellcraft. Poof. Yay. There ya go. I used it with people who understood the word at least somewhat correlating with my understanding. It worked (and still does to some degree).
When I was having one of those moments not too long ago about cutting up my illusion on life... shredding it out and breathing in the new skin of existence (gotta have those every once in a while)... I decided. Why the hell do I need that word? Yes, it means something to me. Yes it's easier when going around the circle explaining your beliefs just to say "Witch." But, perhaps by claiming that word I've become lazy. It's so much easier to just reclaim a word... or so I thought. Think about reclaimed wood. Sometimes it's at the bottom of a lake. Isn't it easier just to cut down a new piece of lumber instead of getting on a dive suit, scouting out murky waters, finding your treasure, going back up, waving someone over with the crane/boat, going back down in the water and hooking it up praying that the chains don't damage your find and that it will be worth it in the end. For those who like reclaimed wood. Yes. It is very worth it. It has a beauty that a brand new treated timber doesn't have. It has age. It has experience. It has a new life. Oh, and it's a green solution. And... it costs more.
Though the shift of understanding of the world Witch has increased dramatically over the last 20 years, at least concerning New Age practices, it still has hundreds of years of connotation that goes along with it. Are you really a healer in your community birthing babies and making love spells for two chickens and a hat? Are you someone who makes talismans out of hair, fingernails and iron? Are you an enemy to the church? Are you someone to be feared? Are you a hermit in the woods luring children into your oven with sweets and delectable treats? Do you curse men who have an ego to become the beasts they truly are? Do you hear the voice of God as you lead men into battle? I mean... there's a lot of things added to this word.
...and I have to say, some of it works for me. In the spirit of efficiency, however, I'd have to say it is easier to put forth my energy to explain this. "I'm an energy practitioner." Most people would say "Oh, what's that?" or "How do you mean?" (at least if they're curious) Then I can send my impression of what it means into their mind by the magic of words. I can use my associations with that title and create a new neural path in their minds... ok yes, they're doing the work for me... but still... It's easier. And maybe I am a little lazy, but I have more important things to worry about than what others think about me. Like, is the milk really out of date two days after the expiration date or when do I need to sign up for that class or hell... LIFE IS TOO IMPORTANT TO GET STUCK INSIDE IT. Pardon.. felt like yelling. :) But truth often does that. Yells and screams and stabs you in your eye. It's only your own fault if you can't feel it or hear it.
So, I learned a lot from my mother. How to make a great chili. How to refinish a house. But, this most of all. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. But sometimes... the pound of cure is necessary.
Blessings you crazy people,
Greymentality
About seven years ago I told my mother I could see 'auras.' About six years ago I told her I could see 'spirits/ghosts.' About five years ago I told her I could see the future. And then, I told her I was a Witch. Crash, boom, bam, collapse! My gentle crafting of understanding... or at least setting a stage to understanding... crashed under the weight of that word. I defined it. I explained it. And, yet... who'd a thunk that someone's thought process could crush my long balanced plan? Oh yes... something about the power of thought... and belief... Anyway... Before my mother wanted me to be a 'psychic.' It's so much easier to understand and even easier to explain to your family friends. However the term psychic seems to denotes that it is just innate abilities and gifts instead of hard work and practice. So, I threw that out the window as I didn't like the way it felt on my person. So, I chose a little over 11 years ago the term Witch. It was somewhat vague. Had a good connotation in my mind. It meant a person who practices magic and spellcraft. Poof. Yay. There ya go. I used it with people who understood the word at least somewhat correlating with my understanding. It worked (and still does to some degree).
When I was having one of those moments not too long ago about cutting up my illusion on life... shredding it out and breathing in the new skin of existence (gotta have those every once in a while)... I decided. Why the hell do I need that word? Yes, it means something to me. Yes it's easier when going around the circle explaining your beliefs just to say "Witch." But, perhaps by claiming that word I've become lazy. It's so much easier to just reclaim a word... or so I thought. Think about reclaimed wood. Sometimes it's at the bottom of a lake. Isn't it easier just to cut down a new piece of lumber instead of getting on a dive suit, scouting out murky waters, finding your treasure, going back up, waving someone over with the crane/boat, going back down in the water and hooking it up praying that the chains don't damage your find and that it will be worth it in the end. For those who like reclaimed wood. Yes. It is very worth it. It has a beauty that a brand new treated timber doesn't have. It has age. It has experience. It has a new life. Oh, and it's a green solution. And... it costs more.
Though the shift of understanding of the world Witch has increased dramatically over the last 20 years, at least concerning New Age practices, it still has hundreds of years of connotation that goes along with it. Are you really a healer in your community birthing babies and making love spells for two chickens and a hat? Are you someone who makes talismans out of hair, fingernails and iron? Are you an enemy to the church? Are you someone to be feared? Are you a hermit in the woods luring children into your oven with sweets and delectable treats? Do you curse men who have an ego to become the beasts they truly are? Do you hear the voice of God as you lead men into battle? I mean... there's a lot of things added to this word.
...and I have to say, some of it works for me. In the spirit of efficiency, however, I'd have to say it is easier to put forth my energy to explain this. "I'm an energy practitioner." Most people would say "Oh, what's that?" or "How do you mean?" (at least if they're curious) Then I can send my impression of what it means into their mind by the magic of words. I can use my associations with that title and create a new neural path in their minds... ok yes, they're doing the work for me... but still... It's easier. And maybe I am a little lazy, but I have more important things to worry about than what others think about me. Like, is the milk really out of date two days after the expiration date or when do I need to sign up for that class or hell... LIFE IS TOO IMPORTANT TO GET STUCK INSIDE IT. Pardon.. felt like yelling. :) But truth often does that. Yells and screams and stabs you in your eye. It's only your own fault if you can't feel it or hear it.
So, I learned a lot from my mother. How to make a great chili. How to refinish a house. But, this most of all. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. But sometimes... the pound of cure is necessary.
Blessings you crazy people,
Greymentality
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