Hi, pardon my absence. I assume no one had any wild parties while I was away yes? :)
Anyway. I had a nice meeting at our Pagan Night Out group that met this Friday. Had a student doing a paper on Paganism show up from a local college. Had a new guy be a wallflower. Also, we had cupcakes with little bitty bat-shaped sprinkles. Nice. :) Our topic of this meeting was on death. Lovely topic. Lots of deep discussions. But I fast forward.
After the meeting, one of our regular meeting participants pulls me over to tell me that he was worried that I was being very vulnerable and that my chakras below the belt were wide open. He being such a caring, endearing, compassionate soul had to warn me this... dangerous way my energy is splaying. And that whomever I'm having sex with only wants me for sex and that he thought it'd be important that I know this because he knows I need something more than just a sexual relationship. *sigh*
Why? Again? The pool of people in the Pagan community, if you aim for said pool, minimizes your foci of choices. Then you further minimize it if you are looking for someone who knows what energy work means and that is the sort of person you prefer. This gentleman is also not very used to socializing. He has a very unique perspective that I can appreciate and understand... which is actually not so good for me. So, if she (I) doesn't ignore him completely and exit stage right... then she (I) must be the girl for him. And lets devise a plan to separate her from whatever partner she is with so that he can try to swoop in as the 'rebound'/'helpful friend' and have their 'energetic' way with her. I knew immediately what his plan was and had to feign ignorance because I was tired and not willing to smack his sensitive/peculiar/manipulative eyes from his orbital rounds. So... I'm a nice lil target now. Again.
It does make me think about how many times over people have had sex with other people in the Pagan community. Locally speaking. I mean, probably about the same as any community of adults that are single/open/etc. to sexual exploration and/or just... gettin' it on. And, as someone who studies energy, I can tell you that connecting yourself energetically speaking with someone sexually can be an extremely potent tag. Kinda like rooting a piece of yourself beneath their skin. It's like the chemical markers... the animal touch that another will know that they have been claimed in some manner. You do lend yourself to vulnerability. Sex is an act of a lot of power and a lot of sensitive parts moving close to one another. The release, the subjection to the other... is vulnerable. But not necessarily bad. The vulnerability of connection is something interesting to contemplate. Who do you claim? Are they worth it? Are they family? Are they mate? Energetically speaking, if you have a one night stand, it won't be as pressed in a' signature... but it is still there. Are they worth it? To give your signature to? Physically, someone could claim that you (if male) fathered their now unborn child. Vulnerable... on both sides. Emotionally, someone could say "I love you." And mean it, first time out. What if you're not ready? What if you just wanted to relish the bodies and not the heart/soul? Danger of hurt... vulnerability. What if you have a one night stand with a witch/practitioner that follows the energetic line up to your very special place and works a spell... for good or ill. Energetic vulnerability.
Now... then you relax. All things are energy. We are all as vulnerable as babes on a table. We're all as strong as the sun. But living in a world of linear thinking... and magical thinking... what would be best to protect yourself from vulnerability. Or can you? There's energetic warding. There's being aware. There's not giving your heart away. Trust. Trust that you will fall on your feet. Trust that whomever is holding the other line of energy is willing to release it and/or hold it with perfect love and trust in return. Then there's denial. Active denial of an anti-psi type energy to dislodge any negativity. But... then there's illusion denial. To dislodge your mind from truth.
Well, I've been accused of thinking too much. I've been trying to organize my mind on this whole mess of sex and relationships. In the end, it's your gut you trust. It's the sacred animal within that motivates. And in the end, there is a lovely knot of connections. I suppose it's just a good thing to think about. How many knots do you want in your web? Will you see them 10 years down the road as beautiful moments in your life or regrets? Or are all your knots beautiful and none filled with regret. It would be sad to see knots in my web as ugly. I'd like to never regret. So, I contemplate... what is worth the trouble... who is worth the trouble and ... who the hell cares? I want to live and not be tied down. :)
Random blessings,
Greymentality
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
Restful Trees (a personal post)
Today I rest. The music of the wind shivering the tiny yellow leaves on a mostly green tree fill me with peace. Normally my mind is fast moving and flitting back and forth between thought and effort. Today my mind rests.
Over the last three weeks, I've become all aspects of womanhood for a moment. It sounds like something someone would say to explain away some bit of wisdom taken from a lighthearted and maternal moment. No. Two weeks ago I had a loss. It feels like two months... funny how time slows. I have moved forward with vigor to live life to the fullest. Dancing. Laughing. Screaming. Today I cry. I know that this isn't all that interesting a post. It's much more personal and close to me. But, I had to write. I had to write somewhere where my family doesn't pry. Where my coworkers won't leer. I had to write about an emotion that has no name. I don't know if this will make logical sense, since emotion is rarely logical.
I was the Maiden. I became the Mother. And now I am the Crone. Creation and Death dwelled within me. I mourn and rest. Soon I will live faster. Breathe harder. Smile brighter. Today, there is no rule for that. There are gentle smiles. There are soft steps. Tomorrow my words may be sharper. I will not care when someone cries. I will not hold someone who fears. All of my care and compassion are for me now. And I will drink it up until I am filled.
And I am a better woman for it. I am the dark mother... and I am healing.
Over the last three weeks, I've become all aspects of womanhood for a moment. It sounds like something someone would say to explain away some bit of wisdom taken from a lighthearted and maternal moment. No. Two weeks ago I had a loss. It feels like two months... funny how time slows. I have moved forward with vigor to live life to the fullest. Dancing. Laughing. Screaming. Today I cry. I know that this isn't all that interesting a post. It's much more personal and close to me. But, I had to write. I had to write somewhere where my family doesn't pry. Where my coworkers won't leer. I had to write about an emotion that has no name. I don't know if this will make logical sense, since emotion is rarely logical.
I was the Maiden. I became the Mother. And now I am the Crone. Creation and Death dwelled within me. I mourn and rest. Soon I will live faster. Breathe harder. Smile brighter. Today, there is no rule for that. There are gentle smiles. There are soft steps. Tomorrow my words may be sharper. I will not care when someone cries. I will not hold someone who fears. All of my care and compassion are for me now. And I will drink it up until I am filled.
And I am a better woman for it. I am the dark mother... and I am healing.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Kitchen Witch is not "Pagan" for Baker
Ok... just a little moment here. When doing introductions at our local PNO, one of the ladies there introduced herself as a Kitchen Witch. In fact, the only one that did so out of a room of 30. She brought brownies (which were decidedly yummy) and is credited with numerous cakes and delicious treat crafting. However... she is not a Kitchen Witch.
I know that I cannot judge her fully because... well... I'm not there with her all the time watching her do whatever it she does. Spellcraft. Rites. Mixing potions. Etc. But, I can at least judge her solidly from what I've observed. So I will... just because her blase attitude toward magic is conversely pissing me off and making me laugh at what she's pulling down toward her.
Just because you cook or enjoy cooking does not mean you are a Kitchen Witch. Hell, even if you are Pagan and like to cook and bake... again... does not mean you are a Kitchen Witch. Heck, doesn't even mean you're a Witch. She mentioned on her status line on a networking site that she needed more Pagan friends because her Christian friends outnumbered her Pagan friends (News Flash! Pagans are in the minority... course we're going to be freakin' smaller in number!) Then she went on and said something like "Don't worry Christians, we won't sacrifice you." Oh, and the reason she needs more Pagan friends? The actual reason she gave? Was because she's a Libra and she needs 'balance.' *rolls eyes* It means that you do not value your Christian friends because they are Christian. Which makes you a prejudiced f*** and a stupid mo fo for friending people just because they're Pagan. *blink blink* Hello? Anybody in there? You are not selective or thoughtful with what you do or say... Witches generally do that. Ok, I know, there's those that spew words like projectile vomit and still practice magic. I'll grant you, but... what about this...
"I'm a Dragon." No, you're a woman with a tattoo of a dragon. You do not have the self-respect enough to claim that title firstly. Though I try very hard to . And someday... someday you will meet a real one... *contemplates* no, probably not. You claim to see 'fairies' when there are none. You hallucinate and don't care about your body. Your voice remains the same as it was when you were six and you are now 43. Oh, and to top it off. A friend of mine received a tarot reading from her. So, instead of giving thoughtful advice or at least expressing what the cards reveal. You hit on her and ask her to have a threesome with your boyfriend. Yes. Witches do that. You are not trusted. You lie to yourself. And your soul music is out of tune. You hurt my ears.
~Ok rant done~
I know that I cannot judge her fully because... well... I'm not there with her all the time watching her do whatever it she does. Spellcraft. Rites. Mixing potions. Etc. But, I can at least judge her solidly from what I've observed. So I will... just because her blase attitude toward magic is conversely pissing me off and making me laugh at what she's pulling down toward her.
Just because you cook or enjoy cooking does not mean you are a Kitchen Witch. Hell, even if you are Pagan and like to cook and bake... again... does not mean you are a Kitchen Witch. Heck, doesn't even mean you're a Witch. She mentioned on her status line on a networking site that she needed more Pagan friends because her Christian friends outnumbered her Pagan friends (News Flash! Pagans are in the minority... course we're going to be freakin' smaller in number!) Then she went on and said something like "Don't worry Christians, we won't sacrifice you." Oh, and the reason she needs more Pagan friends? The actual reason she gave? Was because she's a Libra and she needs 'balance.' *rolls eyes* It means that you do not value your Christian friends because they are Christian. Which makes you a prejudiced f*** and a stupid mo fo for friending people just because they're Pagan. *blink blink* Hello? Anybody in there? You are not selective or thoughtful with what you do or say... Witches generally do that. Ok, I know, there's those that spew words like projectile vomit and still practice magic. I'll grant you, but... what about this...
"I'm a Dragon." No, you're a woman with a tattoo of a dragon. You do not have the self-respect enough to claim that title firstly. Though I try very hard to . And someday... someday you will meet a real one... *contemplates* no, probably not. You claim to see 'fairies' when there are none. You hallucinate and don't care about your body. Your voice remains the same as it was when you were six and you are now 43. Oh, and to top it off. A friend of mine received a tarot reading from her. So, instead of giving thoughtful advice or at least expressing what the cards reveal. You hit on her and ask her to have a threesome with your boyfriend. Yes. Witches do that. You are not trusted. You lie to yourself. And your soul music is out of tune. You hurt my ears.
~Ok rant done~
Monday, August 9, 2010
Thoughts on pheromones...
Ok. The other night I was an observer of an interesting sensual-attraction-event from which a friend of mine was the orchestrator/cause. I was warned in advance that her control of this talent was somewhat off as she noticed the attention shift increase. See, she had lost a friend and hadn't been as... reins-in with this interesting gift. She really does have to be, or things get hairy. My friend has something we call (lovingly and semi-in jest) the Mary Effect. For some reason men (and gay/bi women) are extraordinarily attracted to her. Yes she's lovely (I'm biased since she is my best friend). Her beauty exudes from the way she handles herself and her body language. But, she explains and I agree that it is an exercise in energy manipulation first and foremost. Close to a glamour, if not exactly that. She had 7 people she already knew out and out proposition/hit on her, some of them people she considers friends. It didn't matter the location as it occurred throughout the day and was more or less an area effect. I played wing-girl, which was actually fun. An interesting thing to note in how the energy that was spread out around her, other 'competing' energies fizzled out and dissipated and then were replaced with what she was projecting outward, a programmed sexually charged field that was presented in an elegant modest format.
So how's this so different than any woman putting out signals? Well... it is one of the more intense effects I've seen and amusing in a "Oh the poor dear" kind of way. Maybe it is just that, sending out signals. Physical cues. Smells. Pheromones. Looks. But when an energy worker has access to enhancing these things, it can be dangerous and very entertaining (from a purely Id perspective of course). She mentioned to me that a long time ago she had to change how she viewed men. "Men are not prey."
Last night I had a similar incident which seems to continue on into the day. I suddenly realized last night that I was doing my own version. Men and women were drawn to me in a much more potent manner. Even at work today, I had four outright mega flirtations, which is actually abnormal for me. I get little flirts and smiles normally. Even my manager said I looked different and he couldn't put his finger on it after saying whatever it was it was good. I think he thought I had a haircut or something... The only problem with this, is that I don't know how to shut it off yet. I'm working on it... and enjoying it... and toying with ideas. Well... pheromones or whatever subtle cues I have are being lit up like a Christmas Tree. I will remember that men aren't prey. And hopefully, those who sense whatever it is I'm sending out will not think I am prey either. *shrug* We shall see. I may update this seeing as I'm falling fast into sleep.
Blessings,
Greymentality
To be continued....
So how's this so different than any woman putting out signals? Well... it is one of the more intense effects I've seen and amusing in a "Oh the poor dear" kind of way. Maybe it is just that, sending out signals. Physical cues. Smells. Pheromones. Looks. But when an energy worker has access to enhancing these things, it can be dangerous and very entertaining (from a purely Id perspective of course). She mentioned to me that a long time ago she had to change how she viewed men. "Men are not prey."
Last night I had a similar incident which seems to continue on into the day. I suddenly realized last night that I was doing my own version. Men and women were drawn to me in a much more potent manner. Even at work today, I had four outright mega flirtations, which is actually abnormal for me. I get little flirts and smiles normally. Even my manager said I looked different and he couldn't put his finger on it after saying whatever it was it was good. I think he thought I had a haircut or something... The only problem with this, is that I don't know how to shut it off yet. I'm working on it... and enjoying it... and toying with ideas. Well... pheromones or whatever subtle cues I have are being lit up like a Christmas Tree. I will remember that men aren't prey. And hopefully, those who sense whatever it is I'm sending out will not think I am prey either. *shrug* We shall see. I may update this seeing as I'm falling fast into sleep.
Blessings,
Greymentality
To be continued....
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Ordinary
The most ordinary of days belong to beauty. The semi-warm summer days. The partly cloudy skies. Doing errands. looking outside and hearing the same birds chirping or cawing. It's ordinary.
Ordinary things bump into ordinary things and depending on how the light hits them, we can see how amazing existence really is. We ignore it so often that life is dull. Our silver infused days become lackluster and just a piece of the junk we deal with, not the craft we weave and hammer and dance into being. I love my ordinary day. I love the way the blinds make the light flicker on the curtains.
Such a small little thought can change so much the way of the world. Simplicity, like a mountain stream, carves more deeply than shallow handholds of scoffing words. For this, I am thankful.
Blessings,
Grey
Ordinary things bump into ordinary things and depending on how the light hits them, we can see how amazing existence really is. We ignore it so often that life is dull. Our silver infused days become lackluster and just a piece of the junk we deal with, not the craft we weave and hammer and dance into being. I love my ordinary day. I love the way the blinds make the light flicker on the curtains.
Such a small little thought can change so much the way of the world. Simplicity, like a mountain stream, carves more deeply than shallow handholds of scoffing words. For this, I am thankful.
Blessings,
Grey
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Cut the ties that bind
Steady schedule online time: Get online. Turn on Yahoo messenger. Click Firefox. Type in 'www.' and scroll down one to Facebook. Click on Facebook. Click on inbox. Click another empty tab. Click on yahoo and check e-mail. Click on Facebook tab. Click on home. Scroll, respond, scroll, respond, scroll 'like', scroll respond. Click on Profile. Click on updates to catch those I may have missed. Click on events. Click 'maybe'. Click on PEER group. Find interesting links to post. Update PEER status message. Update personal status message. Research. Add link. Someone pops on fb chat. Talk. Curse fb chat. Switch to Yahoo messenger. Click click click...
When did I become a fb junkie? I stopped doing Farmville and Restaurant City a long time ago. The only ap. I touch is tetris... and... well it's just tetris. Even in the middle of the night, there's better things to do. When did I stop writing? When did I stop doing what I want to do? I felt a compulsion (yes, I have a bit of undiagnosed OCD tendencies). I have to be on top of everything. Be aware... Control freak? *nods and raises her hand* Facebook is a great way to be connected. Connect to your friends. Connect to your events. Instant gratification via the internet. *coughs* Well... you know what I mean.
It's good to give yourself a vacation. From work. Sure. From people. Yup. From Facebook. *nods* Sometimes your energy can be placed somewhere... less-than-premium. You can't always go to the beach and get away, but you can say "I'm going to take back two hours of my schedule today and do something different with it." Re-investing my time with something else. 14 hours/week of walks, play, joy, coffee dates, writing and maybe... just maybe meditation. Nah, I'm not going to stay offline, or even away from Facebook forever. I just need a break. And some reflection.
Analyze your whole self and you can see what you cannot while existing as a reactionary person. I can see this problem in other people... and told them many times "take care of yourself first." I need my own medicine and damn it... I'm taking it. What spurred this thought was a strange thing actually. Having nothing to do with fb. Someone accused me of not showing discretion concerning a magically oriented group. I realized my reaction was intense. Who me? I am the pillar of tact! Moreso, she reminded me that the group was a men's only group and no women were allowed so I needed to mind my own business and really you should have known and I'm telling you this because other people think the same way and by the way love and light. (mind you I've been attending their open meetings for the past 10 months regularly) She's making a mountain out of a mole hill... and selling shit with a touch of sugar at the end. *chuckles* It made me laugh at first. Then maybe it was the hormones, maybe it was because I just finished a four hour reading for someone... but I reacted strongly. I got very angry. I don't get angry like that. So, anything that helps me reflect on who I am and how I react and my motivations helps me. I don't like it, but I'm glad that this happened.
Even though I don't care what a lot of people think, I care what my friends think. Especially if I do something that offends them. I want to be aware of what they think and how they feel... so when I was challenged for crossing a line by being involved in a men's spirituality group... I suddenly worried. I worried I was not being respectful. That I had broken the integrity of my honor system. That somehow I missed it.
That's what bothered me the most. That I missed it... I missed the imaginary tactful tap tap taps that someone sends out saying I'm going too far. That I'm infringing on them. That I was being disrespectful. That is what got me angry. And that was a sign I needed to step back from the situation.
And so I did. I'm going to use all of the energy that I would in responding to her, all of the energy I have placed in fb and turning it inward. I'm going to pamper my Self. And yes, I did miss it. I missed the fact that I care too much about stuff that doesn't really matter. I must let go... and enjoy the ride.
Blessings,
Greymentality
When did I become a fb junkie? I stopped doing Farmville and Restaurant City a long time ago. The only ap. I touch is tetris... and... well it's just tetris. Even in the middle of the night, there's better things to do. When did I stop writing? When did I stop doing what I want to do? I felt a compulsion (yes, I have a bit of undiagnosed OCD tendencies). I have to be on top of everything. Be aware... Control freak? *nods and raises her hand* Facebook is a great way to be connected. Connect to your friends. Connect to your events. Instant gratification via the internet. *coughs* Well... you know what I mean.
It's good to give yourself a vacation. From work. Sure. From people. Yup. From Facebook. *nods* Sometimes your energy can be placed somewhere... less-than-premium. You can't always go to the beach and get away, but you can say "I'm going to take back two hours of my schedule today and do something different with it." Re-investing my time with something else. 14 hours/week of walks, play, joy, coffee dates, writing and maybe... just maybe meditation. Nah, I'm not going to stay offline, or even away from Facebook forever. I just need a break. And some reflection.
Analyze your whole self and you can see what you cannot while existing as a reactionary person. I can see this problem in other people... and told them many times "take care of yourself first." I need my own medicine and damn it... I'm taking it. What spurred this thought was a strange thing actually. Having nothing to do with fb. Someone accused me of not showing discretion concerning a magically oriented group. I realized my reaction was intense. Who me? I am the pillar of tact! Moreso, she reminded me that the group was a men's only group and no women were allowed so I needed to mind my own business and really you should have known and I'm telling you this because other people think the same way and by the way love and light. (mind you I've been attending their open meetings for the past 10 months regularly) She's making a mountain out of a mole hill... and selling shit with a touch of sugar at the end. *chuckles* It made me laugh at first. Then maybe it was the hormones, maybe it was because I just finished a four hour reading for someone... but I reacted strongly. I got very angry. I don't get angry like that. So, anything that helps me reflect on who I am and how I react and my motivations helps me. I don't like it, but I'm glad that this happened.
Even though I don't care what a lot of people think, I care what my friends think. Especially if I do something that offends them. I want to be aware of what they think and how they feel... so when I was challenged for crossing a line by being involved in a men's spirituality group... I suddenly worried. I worried I was not being respectful. That I had broken the integrity of my honor system. That somehow I missed it.
That's what bothered me the most. That I missed it... I missed the imaginary tactful tap tap taps that someone sends out saying I'm going too far. That I'm infringing on them. That I was being disrespectful. That is what got me angry. And that was a sign I needed to step back from the situation.
And so I did. I'm going to use all of the energy that I would in responding to her, all of the energy I have placed in fb and turning it inward. I'm going to pamper my Self. And yes, I did miss it. I missed the fact that I care too much about stuff that doesn't really matter. I must let go... and enjoy the ride.
Blessings,
Greymentality
Monday, July 19, 2010
What's in a title?
Well, I've had a discussion with my mother not too long ago. I realized it was time for me to use her preconceived notions and thoughts on the word Witch to my benefit. I decided to dethrone that term in my house with my mother. Since her definition will always include a nauseated ick feeling, I am reclaiming my 'title' as energy practitioner. Yes, I know. Titles are only as important as you make them. Yet if using them with others, they can be quite powerful.
About seven years ago I told my mother I could see 'auras.' About six years ago I told her I could see 'spirits/ghosts.' About five years ago I told her I could see the future. And then, I told her I was a Witch. Crash, boom, bam, collapse! My gentle crafting of understanding... or at least setting a stage to understanding... crashed under the weight of that word. I defined it. I explained it. And, yet... who'd a thunk that someone's thought process could crush my long balanced plan? Oh yes... something about the power of thought... and belief... Anyway... Before my mother wanted me to be a 'psychic.' It's so much easier to understand and even easier to explain to your family friends. However the term psychic seems to denotes that it is just innate abilities and gifts instead of hard work and practice. So, I threw that out the window as I didn't like the way it felt on my person. So, I chose a little over 11 years ago the term Witch. It was somewhat vague. Had a good connotation in my mind. It meant a person who practices magic and spellcraft. Poof. Yay. There ya go. I used it with people who understood the word at least somewhat correlating with my understanding. It worked (and still does to some degree).
When I was having one of those moments not too long ago about cutting up my illusion on life... shredding it out and breathing in the new skin of existence (gotta have those every once in a while)... I decided. Why the hell do I need that word? Yes, it means something to me. Yes it's easier when going around the circle explaining your beliefs just to say "Witch." But, perhaps by claiming that word I've become lazy. It's so much easier to just reclaim a word... or so I thought. Think about reclaimed wood. Sometimes it's at the bottom of a lake. Isn't it easier just to cut down a new piece of lumber instead of getting on a dive suit, scouting out murky waters, finding your treasure, going back up, waving someone over with the crane/boat, going back down in the water and hooking it up praying that the chains don't damage your find and that it will be worth it in the end. For those who like reclaimed wood. Yes. It is very worth it. It has a beauty that a brand new treated timber doesn't have. It has age. It has experience. It has a new life. Oh, and it's a green solution. And... it costs more.
Though the shift of understanding of the world Witch has increased dramatically over the last 20 years, at least concerning New Age practices, it still has hundreds of years of connotation that goes along with it. Are you really a healer in your community birthing babies and making love spells for two chickens and a hat? Are you someone who makes talismans out of hair, fingernails and iron? Are you an enemy to the church? Are you someone to be feared? Are you a hermit in the woods luring children into your oven with sweets and delectable treats? Do you curse men who have an ego to become the beasts they truly are? Do you hear the voice of God as you lead men into battle? I mean... there's a lot of things added to this word.
...and I have to say, some of it works for me. In the spirit of efficiency, however, I'd have to say it is easier to put forth my energy to explain this. "I'm an energy practitioner." Most people would say "Oh, what's that?" or "How do you mean?" (at least if they're curious) Then I can send my impression of what it means into their mind by the magic of words. I can use my associations with that title and create a new neural path in their minds... ok yes, they're doing the work for me... but still... It's easier. And maybe I am a little lazy, but I have more important things to worry about than what others think about me. Like, is the milk really out of date two days after the expiration date or when do I need to sign up for that class or hell... LIFE IS TOO IMPORTANT TO GET STUCK INSIDE IT. Pardon.. felt like yelling. :) But truth often does that. Yells and screams and stabs you in your eye. It's only your own fault if you can't feel it or hear it.
So, I learned a lot from my mother. How to make a great chili. How to refinish a house. But, this most of all. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. But sometimes... the pound of cure is necessary.
Blessings you crazy people,
Greymentality
About seven years ago I told my mother I could see 'auras.' About six years ago I told her I could see 'spirits/ghosts.' About five years ago I told her I could see the future. And then, I told her I was a Witch. Crash, boom, bam, collapse! My gentle crafting of understanding... or at least setting a stage to understanding... crashed under the weight of that word. I defined it. I explained it. And, yet... who'd a thunk that someone's thought process could crush my long balanced plan? Oh yes... something about the power of thought... and belief... Anyway... Before my mother wanted me to be a 'psychic.' It's so much easier to understand and even easier to explain to your family friends. However the term psychic seems to denotes that it is just innate abilities and gifts instead of hard work and practice. So, I threw that out the window as I didn't like the way it felt on my person. So, I chose a little over 11 years ago the term Witch. It was somewhat vague. Had a good connotation in my mind. It meant a person who practices magic and spellcraft. Poof. Yay. There ya go. I used it with people who understood the word at least somewhat correlating with my understanding. It worked (and still does to some degree).
When I was having one of those moments not too long ago about cutting up my illusion on life... shredding it out and breathing in the new skin of existence (gotta have those every once in a while)... I decided. Why the hell do I need that word? Yes, it means something to me. Yes it's easier when going around the circle explaining your beliefs just to say "Witch." But, perhaps by claiming that word I've become lazy. It's so much easier to just reclaim a word... or so I thought. Think about reclaimed wood. Sometimes it's at the bottom of a lake. Isn't it easier just to cut down a new piece of lumber instead of getting on a dive suit, scouting out murky waters, finding your treasure, going back up, waving someone over with the crane/boat, going back down in the water and hooking it up praying that the chains don't damage your find and that it will be worth it in the end. For those who like reclaimed wood. Yes. It is very worth it. It has a beauty that a brand new treated timber doesn't have. It has age. It has experience. It has a new life. Oh, and it's a green solution. And... it costs more.
Though the shift of understanding of the world Witch has increased dramatically over the last 20 years, at least concerning New Age practices, it still has hundreds of years of connotation that goes along with it. Are you really a healer in your community birthing babies and making love spells for two chickens and a hat? Are you someone who makes talismans out of hair, fingernails and iron? Are you an enemy to the church? Are you someone to be feared? Are you a hermit in the woods luring children into your oven with sweets and delectable treats? Do you curse men who have an ego to become the beasts they truly are? Do you hear the voice of God as you lead men into battle? I mean... there's a lot of things added to this word.
...and I have to say, some of it works for me. In the spirit of efficiency, however, I'd have to say it is easier to put forth my energy to explain this. "I'm an energy practitioner." Most people would say "Oh, what's that?" or "How do you mean?" (at least if they're curious) Then I can send my impression of what it means into their mind by the magic of words. I can use my associations with that title and create a new neural path in their minds... ok yes, they're doing the work for me... but still... It's easier. And maybe I am a little lazy, but I have more important things to worry about than what others think about me. Like, is the milk really out of date two days after the expiration date or when do I need to sign up for that class or hell... LIFE IS TOO IMPORTANT TO GET STUCK INSIDE IT. Pardon.. felt like yelling. :) But truth often does that. Yells and screams and stabs you in your eye. It's only your own fault if you can't feel it or hear it.
So, I learned a lot from my mother. How to make a great chili. How to refinish a house. But, this most of all. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. But sometimes... the pound of cure is necessary.
Blessings you crazy people,
Greymentality
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