You cannot live a life lived by someone else... or your own life is fruitless... And who will be there to defend your orchard if you're elsewhere...?
Ok, enough analogies on fruit. I've been thinking on the fact that it's easy to drown yourself in others' mistakes in order to help them. Suggest they get on the ball when it comes to getting that ritual down or they will have a craptastic one at that. Or, watching a fledgling witch learn the response of a binding spell not well thought through or well crafted. You're watching others make mistakes you made or know will end badly and suddenly you're in slow motion yelling in that oh-so-dramatic-run-to-catch-the-falling-dynamite yell "Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
But... you can't. The TNT has already dropped. You aren't going to possess this person and do their ritual for them. You aren't the girl who thinks she may have made a mistake and connected herself through a binding spell to someone that will end up doing what they were going to do in the first place once the spell has run its course. You are the person that doesn't feel like she wants to divine at everything that moves. Ok, I am the person who doesn't divine at everything that moves. I want to help people network and learn from one another.
I'm just a wonky lil witch that likes having coffee from time to time with people and talk experiences and practices with a side conversation of the daily special...whatever random stuffs going on that is.
Time is a construct built by man to understand the way the universe works. Linear, cyclical, tetrahedral, pointed or all encompassing. Whatever it is, I've moved through it and onto another time strand. Only thing is, is we're always doing that. Just this time I'm paying attention.
A woman died in our community. Debbie, Buffalo Dreamer. Not exactly how I was trying to explain the shift in dynamics, but it's a start. She died, and my Sister, Rowena, and I knew that it was our duty to start a farewell wreath that will travel to the loved ones of the lost. She will be the first ribbon tied once we can contact someone close to her and the time is right. The empty grapevine wreath will carry ribbons to remember those departed from this next sun cycle and will be burned in the fire on Samhain. This is just one part of the change...
This change has started slowly, but it is now in blooming. Strange, that as we approach the darkest time of the year, some things open up. I am no longer going to wait idly by for someone to tell me where to go, what to do, how to do it. I'm not going to just listen to my guides and say "That's good and all, but what do I do?" They give advice, cryptic advice for a reason. It is my life and I'm going to live it. I'm going to make a decision and move forward, be it through water or fire. I will walk the blade and study the cultures of my forefathers and mothers. I will try and understand what I can.
This sounds good and all, but what about life? Life...gets...in...the...way... Yes, it does indeed do that. That's why I said walking through fire. I've always backed away from fights...arguments...even debates. I'm not shying away from the words "I don't know." There are things in my life I want to nourish. I'm going to learn from those I call friend and foe, though I have a simple few of them both...and blessed few in the later category. And, I'm going to stir my mind up again. I'm going to work my mind until it hurts, you know that good hurt where your mind connects things it never connected before and for some reason everything tasted like purple for a second. I miss that.
Time to get busy. :) Starting with me, my universe, and I.
You can't change anyone but yourself. You give yourself pain when you try to make another see things your way. Truth in Change comes from within. Change in Truth comes from without. Connect the dots and revel in life, the universe, and everything. :)
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Your new appreciation of the Horned One's energies, your will to no longer wait idly by, your acceptance of not changing anyone but yourself, and your path through fire: these sound almost like a familiar Quest. Knights seeking the Grail were trying to understand the kinder, gentler nature of the divine, to be patient, to effect a merciful change upon the world and walk a more peacefull path, so they could rule their lands as something other than hyper-trainned death machines. Knowing both sides and finding the balanced place on the Edge is the essence of Taoism, so I reccommend reading Benjamin Hoff's book, The Tao of Pooh, as this will help you know when your slow, careful quest is achieved and not over temper your soul in the forge. Good hunting, wonky lil witch.
ReplyDeleteI have often picked up that book. Looked at it and put it down again. However, this is the first time I've been recommended this book by anyone. Thank you for the considerate comments you posted and the reading suggestion. Also, it never occurred to me to compare the experiences I've been having as of late with the Knights and their divine quest like you did. Thank you for that reflection on something I would most likely never have thought of. :) I hope you have a great holiday season with as little stress as possible and as much enjoyment as is allowed.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Greymentality