Stop making me laugh... You're making me hurt!

Perfect love. Perfect trust. Something associated with circles all over the country. Saying and doing are completely different things. A professional thing to remember when working with your coven members. It hits at the heart of working as a unit. It even helps the solo artist. Perfect love and perfect trust goes a long way when working alone. But, why is there so much freakin' drama? For instance...

Event 1: A fallout of a magical house. Emotional fireworks lead to drama as a member is cast out from the circle. Everyone is angry and wants everyone else to know their point of view and why theirs is closest to the truth.

Event 2: Misunderstanding among a solitary and someone who is a leader among local Pagan circles. Gossip surrounds the solitary practitioner and each feel like they must defend their position. People choose their side and wait for a moment when it really matters... the situation biding its time until the metaphorical fur flies.

Event 3: Two solitaries discuss emotional turmoil in their romantic relationships and share their thoughts with each other. As they do so they discover a vibrant connection energetically and realize that they would make great magical partners. One is willing to take a chance and proposition the other. The other is not willing to go that far, but acknowledges that facet. The dynamic of the two makes a promising working connection, yet the chemistry might be cause of an issue in the future.

Why do we do this? Why can't we just have a professional relationship with everyone else? Well... first off, probably because we're human. Second, it wouldn't be near as fun. Third, the only way to steer clear of drama of any sort is to not connect to anyone else and just be alone. Then, you have to deal with the drama of yourself. (Anyone seen Castaway?... yeah... tell me Wilson didn't invent drama after he was invented for that purpose...) Drama, in small doses is just social interaction. That is important in any social circles to help us reflect and challenge our views and practices. It's not a bad thing to choose sides. It's not a bad thing to challenge your morals. It's not a bad thing at all to have a struggle. How else will we learn?

When we focus on not letting go and holding on to the anger, the torment, the worry, the dramatic situations of the past... we build our foundation on sand.

After a time we become immune to the small doses of friction and tug-of-war. We want more. We want more violence to stoke our imagination. We want to hear the torture stories of someone coming out of a bad relationship. We want to observe pain from a safe distance and be the saviors... or maybe we are just sadists that don't have the heart to go through and hurt someone just for our pleasure so we seek out those already hurting and savor the stories... the hurt... just like watching a movie. Or maybe we wait till someone tells their story just for the chance to share your pain stories.

"After he beat me... I knew I had to leave."

"Oh that reminds me of when I was with Phil... he never hit me but he was a manipulator..."

Sharing stories can be a bonding experience. But, by reliving your past you take the chance of cutting open those old wounds and reveling in them. Masochist time! We think that by sharing our pain with the world it will make it go away. I don't know who started that idea... maybe therapists in the days of old... just to make a buck. "Go ahead, talk. It'll make you feel better."
You know, sometimes it does. It helps sort through things, but over a time... sharing over and over and over again, you repeat pain. You dampen your spirits. And darn it, I have had enough of that.

This is one of the reasons why I prefer to practice alone. People get in the way. So, I let them go. It's interesting... you notice the people who are actually interested in all of you when you let them be free to leave and not feed into their social addictions and predilections. They run through you like a sieve. It's sometimes better to not be noticed. But, if you are a figurehead for a group or a Lieutenant for a circle... sometimes the fur will fly and you'll have to catch it. Sometimes drama will hit you on your face like a warm piece of... pie. Then what do you do?

You handle it.

You let them yell. You let them scream. When they're tired enough, you respond and let them be on their way. You choose your battles. You stand your ground. Sometimes you just listen. But whatever you do... as a leader... whatever you do. Do not... under any circumstances... lose your sense of humor. :)

All of it. The agony. The he said/she said. The sickness of self... It is frakin' hilarious. Yes, be serious for a bit. Yes, hold the person and say things will work out. But you know, life's too short to live in a puddle and realize it's raining yellow. And if you do, laugh at it. Cause it's a joke. Life, with all its pleasures, experiences, sorrow, imagination, agony... it is, the Divine Punchline.

So, perhaps instead of jumping into the drama and choosing which colors to fight for... maybe a little giggle would be a better way to handle things. Hell, maybe an out and out cackle. I do a pretty mean one at that. ;)

Blessings people,
Greymentality