Hi, pardon my absence. I assume no one had any wild parties while I was away yes? :)
Anyway. I had a nice meeting at our Pagan Night Out group that met this Friday. Had a student doing a paper on Paganism show up from a local college. Had a new guy be a wallflower. Also, we had cupcakes with little bitty bat-shaped sprinkles. Nice. :) Our topic of this meeting was on death. Lovely topic. Lots of deep discussions. But I fast forward.
After the meeting, one of our regular meeting participants pulls me over to tell me that he was worried that I was being very vulnerable and that my chakras below the belt were wide open. He being such a caring, endearing, compassionate soul had to warn me this... dangerous way my energy is splaying. And that whomever I'm having sex with only wants me for sex and that he thought it'd be important that I know this because he knows I need something more than just a sexual relationship. *sigh*
Why? Again? The pool of people in the Pagan community, if you aim for said pool, minimizes your foci of choices. Then you further minimize it if you are looking for someone who knows what energy work means and that is the sort of person you prefer. This gentleman is also not very used to socializing. He has a very unique perspective that I can appreciate and understand... which is actually not so good for me. So, if she (I) doesn't ignore him completely and exit stage right... then she (I) must be the girl for him. And lets devise a plan to separate her from whatever partner she is with so that he can try to swoop in as the 'rebound'/'helpful friend' and have their 'energetic' way with her. I knew immediately what his plan was and had to feign ignorance because I was tired and not willing to smack his sensitive/peculiar/manipulative eyes from his orbital rounds. So... I'm a nice lil target now. Again.
It does make me think about how many times over people have had sex with other people in the Pagan community. Locally speaking. I mean, probably about the same as any community of adults that are single/open/etc. to sexual exploration and/or just... gettin' it on. And, as someone who studies energy, I can tell you that connecting yourself energetically speaking with someone sexually can be an extremely potent tag. Kinda like rooting a piece of yourself beneath their skin. It's like the chemical markers... the animal touch that another will know that they have been claimed in some manner. You do lend yourself to vulnerability. Sex is an act of a lot of power and a lot of sensitive parts moving close to one another. The release, the subjection to the other... is vulnerable. But not necessarily bad. The vulnerability of connection is something interesting to contemplate. Who do you claim? Are they worth it? Are they family? Are they mate? Energetically speaking, if you have a one night stand, it won't be as pressed in a' signature... but it is still there. Are they worth it? To give your signature to? Physically, someone could claim that you (if male) fathered their now unborn child. Vulnerable... on both sides. Emotionally, someone could say "I love you." And mean it, first time out. What if you're not ready? What if you just wanted to relish the bodies and not the heart/soul? Danger of hurt... vulnerability. What if you have a one night stand with a witch/practitioner that follows the energetic line up to your very special place and works a spell... for good or ill. Energetic vulnerability.
Now... then you relax. All things are energy. We are all as vulnerable as babes on a table. We're all as strong as the sun. But living in a world of linear thinking... and magical thinking... what would be best to protect yourself from vulnerability. Or can you? There's energetic warding. There's being aware. There's not giving your heart away. Trust. Trust that you will fall on your feet. Trust that whomever is holding the other line of energy is willing to release it and/or hold it with perfect love and trust in return. Then there's denial. Active denial of an anti-psi type energy to dislodge any negativity. But... then there's illusion denial. To dislodge your mind from truth.
Well, I've been accused of thinking too much. I've been trying to organize my mind on this whole mess of sex and relationships. In the end, it's your gut you trust. It's the sacred animal within that motivates. And in the end, there is a lovely knot of connections. I suppose it's just a good thing to think about. How many knots do you want in your web? Will you see them 10 years down the road as beautiful moments in your life or regrets? Or are all your knots beautiful and none filled with regret. It would be sad to see knots in my web as ugly. I'd like to never regret. So, I contemplate... what is worth the trouble... who is worth the trouble and ... who the hell cares? I want to live and not be tied down. :)
Random blessings,
Greymentality
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment